My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
