The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize