Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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