We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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