hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
