but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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