I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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