We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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