Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize