what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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