apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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