i permit you to call me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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