Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
