i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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