My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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