Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
