I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
