Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
