is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
