whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
