can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dick very happy bro
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
