OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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