Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
