ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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