chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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