You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
