I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
