coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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