it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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