Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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