I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
