margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
