HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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