You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
