remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
