there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
