I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
