you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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