Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
