i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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