Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize