he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
