So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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