He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
