So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize