12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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