You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
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