i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
