you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
North Korea, Best Korea!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
