FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
