oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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