She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
