Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I need water and some morals
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize