He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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