I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize