the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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