All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
