I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
