i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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