it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
