You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
