Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
