If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
